Chuck's Chat-Welcome to April 2024!

 Chuck’s Chat

Welcome to April!

Something a little different this month, and yes, it is true.

They called me to say it was my turn to use a fertilizer spreader. It was supposed to rain the next day, the timing could not have been better. I drove the truck to town to fetch a load of nitrogen to spread upon my pasture so the grass could thrive again. The tractor’s ignition switch had not been working for quite some time. I’d been using a screwdriver on the starter and getting along just fine. Each time the tractor started it had been correctly placed in “park”. But this time was different as I made that fateful spark. I did not double check to see if it was out of gear, and when I crossed that solenoid, I was soon knocked on my rear. The engine started with a roar, and the wheels began to turn. As my feet were engulfed by the large rear tire, they felt as if to burn. I felt it roll over my ankles and saw it climbing up my jeans. I knew there was no escaping this predicament by any means. Then I crossed my arms over my chest and laid flat on my back and tilted my head off to the side so it would not get smacked. The tire rolled over both my arms and then onto my left shoulder. It cared not if I were a human or a mid-sized limestone boulder. The tractor kept on rolling as one in gear properly should. I thought to myself “I’m alive” and that was very good. And then it occurred to me I must get that tractor stopped. I mysteriously managed to get to my feet from where I had been plopped. I took a couple steps and thought “Hey….I can walk”. But I had no time to make a video for anyone’s Tik Tok. I started jogging and soon was catching up to the old John Deere. I made my way around the tire and hopped onto the step with no fear. Then I opened the door, crawled in the cab and in the seat I did relax. Didn’t even stop to think, just turned around and headed back. My left leg began to throb, and my feet and ankles really hurt. But what could I have expected from being mashed into the dirt. I figured that since I could drive, I might as well hook up the spreader. Into reverse I shifted gears, then realized once upon a time I could see better. My vision had gotten somewhat blurry, and it was difficult to see. So, I put ‘er in park, drank some water, and waited patiently. After a while my head was clear and so back to work I did go. I spread fertilizer that afternoon on 35 acres or so. I unhitched the spreader from the tractor and then onto the truck. I thought I’d better call my wife to see if she was home; I was in luck. “I’m gonna need your help to return this fertilizer spreader, and while we’re in town a visit to the hospital might be for the better.” A long pause on her end and then a drawn out “Whyyyy” was all she said. “Just get me a clean shirt and pants and I’ll meet you near the shed.” At the hospital we arrived with me in lots and lots of pain. I had no idea what the results would be, but I sure felt drained. The x-rays were negative, so were the CT scans and ultrasound. Seems as though it gonna take more than 125 horses to keep me down. Two weeks later I’m bruised and sore but feel like a survivor. And as for the tractor I’ve already found a cure: a longer handled screwdriver.